The Key to Understanding Others is to Be a Good Detective, Not a Code-Breaker

The Key to Understanding Others is to Be a Good Detective, Not a Code-Breaker

The Big Picture

The purpose of this site is to help you achieve your own goals by improving your communication skills. Better personal relationships. More success at work. Deeper connections with your parents, kids, spouses, friends, and lovers.

As in the previous post, I will give you tips, techniques, and strategies for handling all sorts of common communication tasks. But more than that I want to give you the big picture, to teach you how communication works in general. In the long run, you will rely less on tips and techniques. Instead, you will use your in depth understanding of communication and the social world to analyze and solve even the trickiest communication problems.

How to Make Sure People Understand You

How to Make Sure People Understand You

“I never said that!”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“You’re taking me the wrong way.”

A man shows up at the emergency room: nauseous, vomiting, heart racing. When the nurse asks what is wrong, he says it might be a bad reaction to the nicotine patch he is using to quit smoking. He takes off his shirt, and the nurse sees ten or more nicotine patches all over his torso. Asked why he had so many patches on, he said that the doctor told him to put the patch on a different place every day. So he just kept applying patches to a different part of his body every day. Nobody said anything about taking off the patch from the day before. How was he supposed to know?